Arranging to be Engaged
I will be honest with you, the work required in getting to the engagement, when you pop the proverbial question, is a lot of work! I suppose it prepares the groom for the work to come when planning and organizing the wedding itself. I suppose you could a really simple affair, but I am not one to put a dash of style in an affair, particularly an important one. So when did I decide to propose to Camille? To be honest for the past few years it has not been a question of "if", but rather "when". A lot of it I would have to chalk up to timing and, oh yeah, money. The latter has always been in flux and through my Master's years I have been consistently broke. That does not bode well for proposing to a girl (what girl wants a ring from a crackerjack box?!). Later, when I got a job, a lot of it came down to saving enough money to be able to then come upon the big question. The variables were rather all in the air, but as the new year (2008) came I figured that, before I jump off into the next stage of my education, this would be the best time to broach the subject.
Preparation for this was key. As I said, the question for this was not "if", but "when". That gave me a considerable bit of leeway when it came to asking Camille her preferred rings. We spent a considerable bit of time online and even at the mall. She saw many a ring that she liked, and I hated, or that I loved, and she despised. We eventually set upon a few common ideas, but we really could not find one that encompassed both of our tastes. They weren't eclectic so much as we just couldn't find the right piece. Anyone that we found "close" I made a mental note of and eventually stored it in my bookmarks. This was pretty much the tone of the March and April months, with a bit of May sprinkled in as well. Around mid-May I dropped the question entirely and whenever asked by Camille I would reply, "I promise by the end of the year hun!" The extended time line put her off her guard and at the same time gave me a little leeway to find the right ring.
The first question was the diamond and I did extensive research online. I now know more about diamonds than I ever wanted to. Even after I thought I knew it all, I got schooled in the art again when I met with the jeweler. I looked around online and everyone had given decent reviews to online places like Blue Nile. I was not a fan of the brick-and-mortar shops. I can't haggle too well and most importantly I like to know how badly I am getting screwed. With a brick-and-mortar shop the sleazy person behind the counter always makes one second guess oneself. In other words, it is difficult to not walk away without feeling some sense of doubt. I did not want the hassle of haggling and my decision was compounded by the fact that none of the retailers I saw had really good pieces. They were alright, but there was always something I felt was wrong (or off). So I had resigned myself to an online solution, but I never really figured for what I eventually ended up with.
I did a lot of scouring and eventually landed upon a website for The Chicago Diamond Exchange. The website was a bit underwhelming (a problem I might be helping with) but their prices were great. Now let me be clear, the prices here were only for diamonds. They had images of settings, but settings were not their main thing. I already had a setting in mind, from another retailer, which was 85% there. However, none of the online retailers were really presenting me with an adequate deal, or a breadth of merchandise, like these folks were. First contact was made in late June and I immediately set forth a timeline of around a month.
I had already gone in with a certain idea for size and shape and they had me look through their collection and pick out a few options I liked. Of course, since their internal inventory regularly changed from what was listed on their site, they would also look at everything they had to see if I would like something. For a lot of reasons these people worked the best for me. I knew what I wanted, but not all places had it. This place really did not keep any diamonds in stock. Instead, they were kind of like a broker that sits on a trading floor, buying shares. They pulled in inventory from a wide variety of places and gave me options in what to choose. Indeed there were a number of conversations, mostly during the hours of 3-5 PM, before Camille got home. We narrowed it down to two pieces (one squarish princess and the other a rectangular one), but they strongly recommended that I view them in person. This was a problem! Hushed phone calls are one thing, but sneaking away for an entire day to Chicago is a different matter all together. So my Mom and I conducted a ruse of having to head to the Indian consulate in Chicago for some papers. We headed off at 8 AM on July 19th to Chicago and literally spent around forty-five minutes in the city. Finding the place took a bit of work, but the husband and wife who ran it were really nice. Moreover, we got a chance to look at both pieces and decide (later) upon the setting as well.
It was a quick thing, but it still boggles me that we drove all the way down to Chicago for essentially less than an hour in the city. After that it took four weeks for the ring to arrive and much of my plans were based around that. After having seen the diamonds, as we were discussing settings, the proprietor mentioned that she also designs rings. This was a great fix to my still nagging problem. I showed her my template, but informed her of what I really wanted. She elevated my ideas to an even greater level. Simply, she added a whole new level of class and, what I like to call, "shiny" to the piece. I was now getting everything from one place, which made it all much easier, and still gave me exactly what I wanted. Subsequently, I weekly saw updated finishes, molds and diagrams and before I knew it I was soon to have a ring in my hands!
Plans in the other direction were considerably more liquid. I wanted this to be a special thing and I had a relatively firm idea in my mind. I also wanted Camille's parents to be there for dinner that evening. The first plan was the weekend of August 15th. This would be the weekend of Camille's father's birthday and it would add extra significance. That plan fell through when he could not get that Friday off. So we moved it to next weekend and when the parents said they could make dinner, I moved other plans along. I contacted Camille's boss and asked her to help me enable a subterfuge. She gave Camille the afternoon on Friday off, unbeknownst to Camille. The biggest headache though was the ring, not because of the process, but rather the timing. Creating a ring from scratch is a lot of work and though the options were considerably more that also meant a bit of pliability when it came to the timeline. I had expected the ring the morning before, but since it had to be passed off for an appraisal, I did not get the ring until the morning of. This was nerve wracking! I got up in the morning and expected the FedEx guy to drop off the package.
However, I needed the car for my surprise and so I had to drop off Camille at work. Another lie was needed and I told her that I had a meeting off-campus today. I dropped her off and raced back home, playing Star Wars: The Force Unleashed demo and looking outside my window. When the delivery guy finally came I ripped open the package and checked it out. This was the first time that I had ever seen the final product and it was truly worth it.
With one weight off my shoulder, other work had to be quickly accomplished. I bought us food for the picnic from Zingerman's, remembering to buy Camille's favorite food and desert from there and asking them to pack it all for a picnic. With food in hand, and a blanket for sitting on (Batman!), I headed to Camille's work to pick her up for lunch. I told Camille that work had given me leave for lunch and Camille in turn was anxious to get out the door, since she had a meeting with her boss at 1 PM. Barbara had strategically placed a faux staff meeting so that Camille would have her afternoon "booked". I, quite literally, barged my way to her office, asking to see her cube. She had not once invited me to her office in our three years at Ann Arbor. We went in and much to Camille's horror I asked her boss if Camille could have the afternoon off. Camille's boss said yes and Camille, still unsure about what was going on, was extremely hesitant and consequently petrified. After rechecking with her boss, she packed up her stuff and we headed out the door. I had a very nervous girl on my hands. Gallup park was on our way to the house and I made the pretense that we were just going to go home and relax with her newly acquired half day. I veered towards the park and I informed her that this was going to be a picnic after all. It slowly dawned upon Camille, a realization of the importance of the moment. We sat down to eat and made conversation. This continued until after lunch and I noticed, unusual for me, that Camille looked rather crestfallen. I inquired and she remarked that she thought I was going to propose to her. I immediately laughed this off, saying it was not going to happen for a little while longer. Telling her she was quite cute, I went to give her a hug.
At that moment I got down on one knee and well... So it was unexpected and yet expected. I got a few responses that I should have put it off when she asked, but I know Camille and this typifies a day (and maybe even a lifetime) with her. This, in my opinion, was thus the best way to do it. We hung out there for a while and Camille tried to wrest the phone out of my hand. She attempted calls to her Mom, but could not get her on the line. My Mom was at work and would not pick up either. She did get a cousin and my grandmother, but she was coming up woefully short on informing people of the good news. This was working out well for me.
We went back home and hung out for a while, even grabbing a movie, before dinner. We scuttled off to Shalimar at 7 PM and as Camille went to grab the car, I made sure all the parents were at the restaurant. You can imagine the surprise Camille had! I don't think I have ever seen her this happy and the parents remarked the same thing as well. She got to show off her ring and even my Mom got to see it for the first time. The entire mystery then came clear when we explained what the trip to Chicago was for. We had dinner together and walked about Ann Arbor, even grabbing some chocolate. However, since my Mom had to work early the next day, we broke off soon after.
The next day we hung out with Camille's parents before they had to head back to Indiana. They looked to me to prescribe the agenda for Saturday, but I had just about enough with planning and stress that comes along with it!
I was exhausted by the time they left and spent much of Sunday just relaxing while Camille admired her "shiny!" Friday however was spectacular and a lot of good grace, combined with a heaping of help from our jeweler, made it a great day. To be honest, I could not think of a better way to have planned out and conducted the engagement. It was immensely personal, even though I proposed in a park, and quite attuned to our tastes. It had family to make it even more special and for Camille it was an afternoon/evening of surprises. It is rare that I get to surprise Camille and so I relished every minute of it. Stressful indeed, but the pay off was worth it all in spades!
